​What do you do when things don’t go your way? 
Do you blame others?  Do you complain?  Do you defend your actions? 
 
This time of year in education is always a time of change.  The addition and subtraction of sections at certain grade levels; teachers retiring or moving to new positions; and course offerings changing usually create feelings of discomfort.  Sometimes the changes that we are faced with are not ones we wanted or planned for.  And, let’s be honest, teachers love a good plan.  Often, when that plan doesn’t go our way, we don’t like it.
 
I’m guilty of not liking certain changes.  No matter how much I push myself to think differently, embrace the journey and dream big; sometimes when change doesn’t go my way, I get upset.  But, just like you, I have a choice.  Will I stomp my foot and throw a little fit…sometimes I will.  (I’m not proud of it.)  But, will I allow myself to hold on to those feelings and continue to blame, complain and defend?  Absolutely not. 
 
This week it may be true that I didn’t get my way.  And, maybe, just maybe, I let myself fall below the line while I spent a few minutes (okay longer than that) on autopilot as I complained.  But, I had to press pause and snap myself out of it.  So, after I got my complaining out of my system, I decided to look at my new situation as a learning experience, an opportunity, a new challenge that would help me learn and grow.  It’s not easy to keep this positive mindset.  But, I know that I control the story I tell myself.  I’m not going to live with a victim mentality.  I’m going to embrace my challenges.  I’m going to pick myself up and continue on the journey to ELITE. 
 
What will you do when you are challenged?  What will you do when things don’t go your way?  

​​When I was a little girl I was often referred to as “bossy”.  I wanted things my way.  I was assertive.  I enjoyed having a plan and insisted that everyone followed it. I wanted to give orders using my microphone.

As I grew up, I started to feel really bad about being called “bossy”.  And, in elementary school I became very quiet, shy and unsure of myself.  (Those of you who know me now are most certainly surprised to hear of this shy phase.)   Looking back now, I know that being referred to as “bossy” made me feel unsure of myself.  I didn’t want to be a “boss”.  And, I certainly didn’t want to be called “bossy,” but deep within me was a desire to be a leader.  

​​It wasn’t until high school that the leader in me began to be cultivated.  It happened naturally as I played sports and was part of various organizations and teams.  But, even as I began to embrace my desire to lead, I still felt like a “boss” and I really didn’t like that.  As I continued through college and then on to my teaching career I began to study the leaders around me.   I learned lesson from them.  Surprisingly, some of the most important lessons I learned came from the least effective leaders.  I learned what leadership wasn’t.  Only then, could I really begin to hone my own leadership skills.  A few years into my teaching career, I was blessed to work with many inspirational leaders in Hilliard City School. These leaders helped me reflect on my skills, gave me constructive feedback and most importantly believed that I could be an inspirational leader.   
 
A few years ago, I was given the opportunity to lead an entire school!  I didn’t think I was ready and it turns out we’re never really ready.  I’m so glad that I accepted the challenge. It turns out that the best way to learn about leadership is to be one. 
 
While, my journey to ELITE continues and my journey through leadership continues; I feel like I’m ready to share what leadership has taught me in hopes that all of the leaders who read this will share their leadership lessons with me:

1. Leadership isn’t a title-Anyone can be a leader.  It doesn’t matter what title you hold.  Leaders are all around us.  Leaders inspire, listen, create, cause others to grow, ask questions, and make positive change.  Leadership isn’t imparted on us by our title; leadership is within us.
2. Leaders lead for others-When you are a true leader you know that what you do is not for you.  You don’t lead so that you can be praised, rewarded, or put in the spotlight.  You lead so you can impact the lives of those around you.
3. Leaders are vulnerable-Leadership is not about being right.  True leaders share their worries, their weakness, and their fears.  They have no problem asking for help and accepting help.
4. Leaders fail-Leadership is about taking risks, failing and learning.  When you lead with the goal of making a true impact you have to be willing to fail along the way.  It’s what you do in the face of failure that defines you.
5. Leaders develop new leaders-Leaders set conditions for others to take on leadership roles.  Leaders seek out those people in their organization who possess leadership skills and they help those people grow as leaders themselves.
6. Leaders make others uncomfortable-Leaders have a way of pushing others out of their comfort zones.  Then, they walk alongside their team and celebrate the journey.
7. Leaders have tough conversations-Leaders don’t permit behavior that does not align with their culture.  Leaders will hold their team accountable and will expect their team to hold one another accountable as well.
8. Leaders are a safety net-Leaders make sure that their team knows that when they take a risk, there is no need to fear failure.  Leaders create a safety net; a safe place to land when things don’t work as planned. 
9. Leaders don’t need to be needed-As a leader our goal is to create such a strong culture and set of expectations that no one needs you.  That’s right-leaders need to be able to be away from their teams and know that the journey will continue. 
10. Leaders are part of the team-Leadership is not a hierarchy.  Instead, leaders must be part of the team.  As a leader it is crucial that you walk the walk with your team.  I would never ask my teachers to do something that I wouldn’t do myself.  And I would never do something that my teachers couldn’t do.  That’s why I rarely heat up my lunch and I eat it in about 2 minutes flat.  If my teachers don’t sit down for an extended time to eat lunch, then neither will I!
11. Leaders don’t accept the status quo-Leaders will never say “that’s the way we’ve always done it”.  Instead, leaders will ask, “What next?” “What else?” “What now?”

 
What would you add to the list?  I’d love to hear your leadership lessons.

Have you ever bought something and then been told by the cashier that you’ve been selected to complete a survey about your customer service experience?  I get these surveys on the bottoms of my receipts all the time.  Though I rarely, if ever, complete them.   
 
Two weeks ago I purchased a new car.  After spending what seemed like a lifetime at the car dealership negotiating a price that I hoped was reasonable, I was finally ready to sign mountains of paperwork.  My salesman, Rick, shook my hand and said “It was great working with you today, in a few days you’ll get a survey and we ask that you answer each question by saying you’re completely satisfied.”  I smiled and said, “Oh, okay.”  Rick walked away to tell the finance department that I was ready to sign more paperwork.  As I waited I couldn’t help by replay his words in my mind.  “Answer each question saying you’re completely satisfied?”  I was shocked, why would anyone ever tell someone what to mark on a survey? 
 
Soon I walked into the next office to sign more papers.  There, I was offered all kinds of extra insurance and warranty plans that I didn’t really need.  I kindly listened to all of the sales pitches and signed papers again.  When it was finally time to leave, the nice lady in this second office said, “I want to remind you that you’ll be getting a survey in a few days.  Please be sure to click the box all the way to the left to indicate that you’re completely satisfied with your experience.”  At this point, I had been at the car dealership for 5 hours, I wanted to ask her why she felt she needed to tell me how to rate my experience.  But, instead, I said, “Okay, thank you so much for all of your help.”  A few days later when I played a voice message on my phone.  It was from the dealership.  This time a person was calling to check to see how I was enjoying my car.  At the end of the message he said, “And remember to check completely satisfied when you get the survey about your service.” 
 
What does feedback mean to you?  Sure, it’s great to receive positive feedback.  But, whether the feedback we receive is positive or negative isn’t what matters. What really matters is what we do with the feedback.  Do we just pretend like everyone is “completely satisfied” all the time?  Or, do we accept honest feedback with an open mind and growth mindset?  Do we want to grow or do we want to maintain the status quo?
 
Accepting feedback, especially critical feedback, isn’t always easy.  When we are open to feedback we have to be prepared to make changes, do more work and accept that our ideas are not perfect.  But, think about what things would be like if we simply asked everyone to tell us they were “completely satisfied”.  Where would we be personally and professionally?  What opportunities would we have missed? 
 
On our journey to ELITE, feedback is crucial.  We don’t ever really want to be satisfied or even “completely satisfied”.  Instead we want to constantly be moving forward.  As Tim Kight says, "We must strive to be better today than we were yesterday and we must be better tomorrow than we were today." The feedback we receive along the way is what will continue to propel us forward.