It feels like we have literally been running for our lives since about August, maybe even longer for some of us. (You know, the cheetah analogy.) We have been moving at a pace that is unsustainable. Today, as I sit in the school there is an eerie silence. The pace slowed today and we needed that to happen. Sometimes when we move so fast for so long we forget what it feels like to pump the brakes and coast for a while or even come to a full stop. This weekend, I hope you all give yourselves permission to pump the brakes.
Disconnect. Unwind. Relax. We have been going really fast for too long!
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There are so many words that I'm hearing recently as I dive into learning about racism, diversity and equality. Last night during the Vice Presidential debate, the Vice President of the United States of America proclaimed that systematic racism does not exist. I wonder how that statement made black and brown families feel? I feel like I see the effects of systematic racism every day that I come to school.
I came across this video that explains systematic racism. It helped me process my own white privilege. I don't think that systematic racism and implicit bias are a matter of opinion. Check it out.
Hatred is taught. I know this for a fact. Today two of our teachers came to me to share some comments that were made by a child in their class.
I'm working really, really hard this year to be open and talk about differences whether that be race, religion or sexual orientation. I was able to call the parent and talk about it but I'm not sure if I handled it correctly. Mom shared that homosexuality was against her religious beliefs. Should I have confronted the mom about what she is teaching her daughter? Should I not have said that I want to respect her beliefs? What do I do when a person connects their belief to their religion? I think it's okay that I don't have the answers right now, but I am going to DO THE WORK to find out how to handle these situations better. Check out this CNN video called "A Look at Race Relations through a Child's Eyes" This video is 9 minutes long but TOTALLY worth the time, it is FASCINATING! Pay attention to the part about IMPLICIT BIAS. Take some time to reflect on your own bias. Remember we have our first Equity and Diversity team meeting on Tuesday at 3:45 in the gym! Many of you may have heard about the Dublin educators who wore shirts in support of immigrants, love is love, black lives and many others. You may have seen some of the fall out. If you haven't, I'm sure you can google it. This event put me in a situation that created a moral and ethical dilemma. On Tuesday, I was part of a meeting in which we were discussing whether or not it was appropriate to wear shirts or other attire that makes a statement related to a movement. (Maybe you received an email about wearing a certain shirt on Thursday. I was proud that I saw at least one staff member doing just that!) As I sat there I was happy to learn that HCSD has a Board Resolution against racism, but I was feeling like our actions were not matching our resolution. I knew I had to do something, but I wasn't sure what.
As I sat in the meeting I thought back about the books I'd read about social justice this summer in the wake of George Floyd's murder. I did my homework about social justice and while I'm by no means an expert, I have learned a few things. I have read books such as White Fragility, How to be an Antiracist, The Other Wes Moore, and We Want to do More than Survive. Currently, I am reading Me and White Supremacy. Needless to say, in the moment on Tuesday when I felt that I was becoming part of racism, I had to speak up. I'm not telling you this to pat myself on the back. I'm telling you this because I felt very, very uncomfortable. In a brief moment, I had to make a choice to stay silent or speak up for what was right. So, I spoke up to our own superintendent and was joined by some of our other administrators. We shared that if we are truly serious that Hilliard City Schools is no place for hate that we could not and should never tell staff that they cannot wear a shirt supporting a movement. The discussion lasted an hour and at the end minds were changed! While this was just one small baby step towards an antiracism, it was still a movement in the right direction. In a diverse building like ours we must make sure our students know that was value them, respect differences and stand up for what is right. We are not going to be perfect because most of us have benefited from white privilege our entire lives. Many of our students, on the other hand, have not. Our students have endured racism throughout their lives. We have a kindergarten student here who recently spent 6 months separated from his parents at the border. We must be the voice for our students! When I think about our One Word, LIFT, I think about how we will LIFT our students who live racism daily. There is no such thing as "not racist". There is only "racist" or "antiracist". Click here to read our Board Resolution against racism. Just like many of you, I have caught myself saying, "when things get back to normal I will..." or "when this is over, then I'll..." But, as we settle into the school year, I'm starting to doubt that what we remember as "normal" will ever exist again. So, I've been challenging myself to get back to things that I've let go as I wait for normal to arrive. This blog is one of those things. I have religiously written blog posts weekly since 2015! That is 5 years! Unbeknownst to me, the post I wrote onMarch 5, 2020 would be my very last one, until today. Because on March 12th, one week after that post was written, we sent kids home for what we hoped would only be a few weeks. Those few weeks turned into more weeks, which turned into the school year. But, here we are more than 6 months later still waiting for normal. Over those months I've been trying to survive, I've felt defeated but also renewed as I have been able to break old habits and start a new normal. Today I had the realization that I have to discipline myself to continue to be the best version of myself that I can be. This blog helps me work towards that goal. What have you given up as you await normal to return? I often think about this motivational video called "Running in the Rain". I have shared it with you before, but feel that it's perfect for this moment. Those of us who excel, who get better and who grow faster are the ones who "run in the rain". We can't wait for the perfect weather, just like we can't wait for this crazy pandemic to end. So today I am taking my "step into the rain" as I write my first blog post in 6 months and begin to create my new normal. Sometimes we get so caught up in our work that we forget to check on each other. We deal with heavy, heavy stuff at JW and it's easy to forget that we are all often times experiencing trauma right along with our students. I tell my mom a lot of stories about things that happen at school and I am always shocked by how upset she becomes. It makes me wonder what has happened to me and why I am not affected in the same way. I'm sure it's because I know that I need to be the calm, strong, rational person through the hard situations. I also know that from the day I walked into this building, I pledged to be your safety net. But, wow, we deal with some STUFF! I know that often times I don't slow down enough to check on you, to ask if you're okay or if you need anything. I'm going to work on that. For now, I want you to know that I see you. I see the work you do. I see the hours you put in. I could not do the work that I do without all of you. I see you!
I was invited to attend a brainstorming session at The Ohio State University with a group of principals and school leaders from around Central Ohio. Our purpose was to help advise OSU in their development of a principal institute that will be held on campus in the summer of 2021. While we were introducing ourselves we were asked to share our name, school and something we love about being a principal. I was sitting near the middle of the room and was relieved to not have to go first. As everyone was sharing, I was in agreement with all of the reasons they love being a principal---connections to kids; working with teachers; building culture; impacting lives and many more great and inspirational thoughts. But, when it was my turn I knew I had to keep it real. I said, “I agree with everything that everyone has said so far, but I just have to add CHAOS. I absolutely LOVE chaos. I love it when a kid is freaking out, the phone is ringing, I have a meeting that I’m late for and a parent is yelling at me!” Well, let me tell you, that answer broke the ice and then people starting sharing some really REAL things!
My answer was completely true! I love CHAOS, which is why this place is perfect for me. Thank you for spending these chaotic days with me. Thank you for understanding when days go by and you don’t even see me. Thank you for the work you do amidst the chaos. And, most of all, enjoy the break from the chaos today! Anna is retiring and it’s time for me to face it! March 31st is her last day and on Monday I have to start the interview process for our new secretary. Greg Hennes asked me what questions I would like to ask and in all honesty I have no idea. There is just no replacing Anna Deri. When I started out as the principal at JW, I had absolutely NO IDEA what I was doing. I’m not kidding-no idea at all. I was a 32 year old kindergarten teacher and literacy coach with four kids including 15 month old twin! I didn’t even have a real principal license and I had never, ever encountered the things that you all had been dealing with on a daily basis at JW. But, Anna took me under her wing, she taught me what to do in a way that made it seem like I was the one making the decisions even though I wouldn’t make a move without her approval.
How can there even be questions to ask that could help me find a new secretary who is as loyal, dedicated, caring, honest, funny, insightful and all around wonderful as Anna Deri? I just don’t think those questions exist. Anna is a true “one of a kind”. Who is going to refill my tissue box and alcohol wipe my phone with me even knowing? I will keep you updated throughout this process and once we narrow the candidates to 3 finalists we will have a committee from JW interview the candidates as well. My mom sent me this and it sums Anna up perfectly. There is just no other way to describe her. I find it ironic that our Lead Now meeting last week was about clarity! Man did I miss the boat on getting out ahead of the Master Facility Plan. But, I learned so much.
Here is what I learned this week: 1-Don't avoid things that make you uncomfortable 2-RECOGNIZE when you are avoiding things that make you uncomfortable 3-Step up and face it head on 4-Ask questions when you don't understand 5-Seek clarity for yourself so you can be clear with others 6-Nothing is accomplished from BCD I'll take what I learned and work to be a better leader! Have a restful 4 day week my friends. Thank you for your hard work. I didn’t realize it until this school year but I think I started to reach a point in my career where I thought I knew everything. Teaching was easy to me and even most aspects of being a principal started to feel easy to me, which I never thought would ever happen! Then I started looking at data differently and the data slapped me in the face! As Lisa Callif says, “data doesn’t lie!” We started looking at it differently and we started changing things. Then the other day I came across this quote—“Be TEACHABLE. You are not always right!”
It’s a great reminder to me! And, I’m thinking that it’s a great reminder to many of you, too! Let’s continue to keep our minds open to new possibilities. The growth I’ve seen in us as a staff this year is incredible and as we just finished this second round of data team meetings it’s amazing to see the growth our students have made as well! Be teachable! |
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