The first book I read in 2019 was Unselfie by Dr. Michele Borba. On Wednesday evening I was lucky enough to hear her speak at Darby High School. (I might have gotten my picture taken with her, too!) If you're looking for a quick read that is relevant to the work we do each and every day and that is also relevant to our personal lives than you definitely want to read this book. Michele explains that empathy is, "seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another and feeling with the heart of another. She shares the 9 Habits of Empathy with the goal of raising children who have moral courage and who are altruistic leaders. As I listened to Dr. Borba speak, I frantically took notes and starred things that I want to try with my own kids at home.
Here are my top 10 take aways: 1-There are three kinds of empathy-affective empathy in which you feel how others feel; cognitive empathy in which you try to understand others; and active empathy in which you take action to help others. 2-Middle School Students expressed that they're more comfortable texting than talking. 3-For the first time ever, 3 and 4 year olds are being diagnosed with depression! 4-66% of kids report that they think THEIR PARENTS are too plugged in. They say they think their parents care more about their devices than them. We must give kids our presence. 5-We must teach children to stand with their head up and to look people in the eye. 6-Every kids needs a mantra! Michele explains that kids need to rehearse who they are and what they want to do and as parents we can help them create these ideas by developing a family mantra. Form your mantra by deciding how your family want to be described by others and what matters to you. 7-How we praise matters--praise with an -er at the end. For example, "You are such a helper. Thank you for putting your laundry away!" or "You are a comforter. You really took time to make your sister feel better when she was sad!" 8-TURN OFF THE NEWS-live images of things like terrorists, murders and school shootings lower our children's empathy and raise their stress levels. Instead show children the good side of the world. Expose them to stories of people, especially children, doing good things. 9-Ages 14-16 are the key ages for moral identity formation. 10-Teaching kids to breath is so important. Below is a picture of children in a kindergarten class practicing deep breathing by taking their stuff animals for a ride. The key to breathing is to inhale slowly and exhale twice as long as you inhale.
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