I’m really stressed. (I think you are too.)
I feel like I’m not doing anything well. (I’ve heard many of you say the same.) I’m in reaction mode instead of “proaction” mode. (Many of you have expressed that you can’t meet the needs of all of your kids.) I don’t feel like I’m supporting you all enough. (You don’t feel like you’re doing all you can for kids.) I know I’m not in classrooms enough. (You are staying here until all hours of the night working.) So, what should I do? (What should you do?) I know it’s easy for me to slip into default mode when I’m feeling like this. I get annoyed with phone calls, emails, bus incidents, truancy issues, hunting down school records for new students and other things that “take my time”. I react quickly without thinking and I act like everything is an emergency. However, I’m grateful that I can recognize my “default” actions and prepare some disciplined, intentional actions instead. Here is a list of the intentional strategies I’m trying to use to reduce my stress and keep my responses to events above the line. Stay calm -I do this by intentionally talking in a slow, quiet, deliberate voice. It’s amazing how controlling my rate of speech and voice level helps me to stay calm. Assume positive intent -Instead of getting myself all worked up by a complaint or incident I try to think about the positive outcomes that could come from it and I tell myself that the person who needs to talk to me has the best of intentions. Don’t take things personally -When I’m stressed, I always read into things way too much. I am intentionally telling myself that “it’s not about me”. Don’t overreact -I’ve noticed that when I am having really stressful weeks, things that might not usually get me frustrated end up pushing my buttons. I might even make rash decisions and end up complaining or making a fuss about things that aren’t worthy of this reaction. I came up with a strategy to help with this. I have been writing things on post its that I think I want to address and then I wait several days to decide how I really need to handle it or if it needs addressed at all. Ask for help -I know I work with so many wonderful people who can help me or give me advice. I am working hard to rely on the people around me! Let things go -Not everything warrants my attention. I have to take the time to think carefully about what to give my attention to. I can’t make every issue a crisis that needs immediate attention! Talk to myself more than I listen to myself -Self-talk is the best way that I can ensure that I remain intentionally above the line. If I were to listen to myself I would hear a lot of freaking out, coupled with the sound of Italians talking with their hands! That won’t get me anywhere! So, by intentionally controlling my self-talk to remind me to quiet my voice, assume positive intent, ask for help and let things go; I am able to get out ahead of my stress. Bonus Strategy-Gratitude -One of the best ways to combat my stress this school year is to intentionally practice gratitude. I can’t be stress and grateful at the same time, that’s why you might be hearing more calls for sticker prizes these days! It brings me so much joy to see a huge line of kids in the hallway proudly wearing their VBO stickers! When I see that line it reminds me how grateful I am for all of you. Have I been great at using these strategies? NO! But, I am committed to continuing to respond to events in the most disciplined way possible. I commit to controlling my self-talk. Coyte Cooper, author of Make Your Mark says it best, “every single thought and minute you spend on negative is a thought and minute that could be spent closing the gap on your highest goal.” I challenge you to evaluate your stress and the way you default when stressed. I challenge you to pay attention to your self-talk and to begin talking to yourself more than you listen to yourself. What can you do to intentionally control your emotions and your responses to events during this stressful time? What will your self-talk sound like? Can you pinpoint a moment in the past week when you’ve defaulted to a below the line response? How can you manage your emotions and your response the next time? And, please hold me accountable for my intentional behavior! I need you to help me keep myself in check!
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